There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
