I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
