you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
