at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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