you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
