i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.