What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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