Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.