We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.