are you still at the devil's house?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"