Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.