I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
