brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He has the fingertips of a God
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