Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
