yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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