"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize