so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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