Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?