Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.