turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
