Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u http://tfl.nu/md4z

Replies (11) Good night (6848) Bad night (1310) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere.. http://tfl.nu/8h2a

Replies (13) Good night (582) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(225): View more from Louisiana

things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o

Replies (36) Good night (6140) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij

Replies (40) Good night (5366) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza" http://tfl.nu/yszc

Replies (11) Good night (3777) Bad night (459)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles. http://tfl.nu/osg1

Replies (69) Good night (9430) Bad night (2927) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9

Replies (10) Good night (4679) Bad night (1193) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you. http://tfl.nu/jevr

Replies (6) Good night (3586) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet. http://tfl.nu/qx6i

Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (2155) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

True on all accounts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me. (1-702): True on all accounts. http://tfl.nu/tt9s

Replies (13) Good night (3382) Bad night (829)
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that? http://tfl.nu/owak

Replies (11) Good night (1535) Bad night (959)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon. http://tfl.nu/pw6n

Replies (9) Good night (1906) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two. http://tfl.nu/ib5v

Replies (1) Good night (1077) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(218): View more from Minnesota

No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(218): No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating. http://tfl.nu/5a1l

Replies (10) Good night (2328) Bad night (453)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/sklt

Replies (6) Good night (2079) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: