i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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