I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
