I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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