I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
