The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
