the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize