? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
