Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
