after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
is wine microwaveable?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
