So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
