I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
