sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize