I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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