$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
