Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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