You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
