I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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