no, he came in my armpit
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
