I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There's even glitter on my cock...
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