Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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