I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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