Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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