just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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