just come out here and I will go home with you...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
