something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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