I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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