Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
