i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize