Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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