Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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