she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
