She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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