I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
