ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
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I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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