we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
