just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
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There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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