Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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