i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
