is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
