My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
high people should be assigned attendants
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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