The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
