My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
