I'm so fucking centered right now
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
