i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
